Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize