How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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