i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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