As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
