just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
