I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
