i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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