I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
