We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
