UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
