i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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