OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
