Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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