you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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