I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
MIDGETS
????
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
