you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
