hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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