No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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