It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
