I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I want to be your penis for a week.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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