Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
