i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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