i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
