What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
