apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Let the clothes fall where they may.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize