I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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