i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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