You work out of a Hotel?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
