I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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