Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
