We're facebook friends in real life
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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