When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
