so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
