lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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