And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
