I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
