Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
