I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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