We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
honey bunches of taint.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
