Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
