I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
