There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
