gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Randomize
