I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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