is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
