Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
