I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
