whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my being single is dangerous.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
