My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
