he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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