Dual....:-)
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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