She announced her abortion via fbk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fill condoms, not promises.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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