you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Found the puke drawer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
