Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
