P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
