i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
