i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize