So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
