You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
