Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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