Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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