i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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