I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
