i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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