And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
