i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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