What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
