It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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