I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize