How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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