I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
